bonding with other people over similar hatred regarding mundane details of life in new york is lubricant that keeps the new york machine flowing. in this vein, i present to you, new york, my hate of the week.
THE RAREFIED REALM FROM WHICH BICYCLE RIDERS DERIVE THEIR SENSE OF MORAL SUPERIORITY!
last week, some jerkbag cyclist started yelling at me in midtown because he almost hit me as i was crossing the street. okay... here's the thing: I HAD THE LIGHT. i told him to go fuck himself cause he was running a redlight like a fucking cocksucker. cyclists are supposed to follow the same rules of the road as cars and trucks and motorcycles... cause they have wheels. that is one of a variety of reasons why chinese delivery guys shouldn't be biking down narrow sidewalks at night in the rain while going in the wrong direction and almost kill me, but i digress.
so... cyclists actually get mad enough mad at pedistrians crossing the street when they are supposed to be... because the cyclists are the ones disobeying their rules of the road. that shit makes me want to carry tacks and long, pointy sticks for throwing between wheel spokes. jerk bags. yeah, i am so SORRY for trying to cross while i have a walk sign in midtown, asshole! next time, i will just wait until all the bicycles and mopeds and vespas and segways finish weaving their way through a redlight and the first set of people crossing the street, and then through the westbound traffic that has the right of way, AND THEN i will wait for another cycle of lights, since that took 310948109834 minutes, and NEVER CROSS THE STREET EVER AND QUIT MY JOB AND DIE. how about that? shit-guzzling assbags.
about a month ago, some lady did this same thing to me near st. marks at like, 11 pm. i was just like 'are you seriously yelling at me because you are riding around in the dark on a silent machine while you are running a redlight? like, really? okay, thats cool, as long as we are clear that your imperious moral high ground is substantiated by absolutely nothing, you giant cockbag!'
actually, what i managed to say was, 'eehh FUCK YOU!' but that is what i thought of on my walk to the subway.
in conclusion: bicyclists can go fuck themselves.
2 hours ago