current improv thoughts

i am having a disconnect with what i know about improv 'off-stage' and watching shows and my skill level onstage. i can get so fucking frantic onstage. it makes me crazy. i know i am a stronger improvisor when i hold back (especially verbally) but i tend to talk when i am nervous or feeling insecure. i need to learn to be secure and confident onstage. and if i'm not, just to not step out. that's kind of the opposite note that is usually given. i think i skate by on being a somewhat compelling performer, but my techincals skills leave a lot to be desired. or just that i lose my technical abilities the moment i lose my thread of the show, so i just begin to stomp across the show and ruin whatever's been established. that is far more melodramatic than it needs to be, but sometimes i feel like that. i think i need to keep rehearsing and working on... pruning my instincts. and doing OTHER creative things. writing, CREATIVELY, not just recounting my days on the interwebs. i am going to start tracking my moods as well. i know comedy, and i fucking know how to do it... and sometimes i just fucking lose it on stage in improv.

castlemania! is awesome and i love those girls. we're going to keep doing shows and rehearsing together. i think we can only improve as a team. plus we are fucking adorable. plus, this was the second year i was in the 3 on 3 on a team with no harold or weekend team members, and for the second year my team made it to the semi-finals. and our show was pretty solid.

oh man. i am watching celebrity rehab (the best show ever) and rod stewart's son DOESN'T KNOW WHO BUDDY HOLLY IS. HOW ARE YOU THAT STUPID!? i mean, sure, rod stewart's scottish, but he still came straight from the american rock school... via the london blues movement BUT STILL. holy fuck, how do you avoid knowing about BUDDY HOLLY. i mean. what. founder and populizer (?) of rock and roll. gah.

sorry that made me mad.

i took two cabs this weekend because my dad wanted to see the intrepid aircraft carrier, which is off 12th avenue and he has a really hard time walking. so that made it hard to get around anywhere. 12th avenue is far fucking away you guys. i kind of wish i could take cabs more often, one of the guys was really cool. he was retired and drove a cab on the weekends for 'pocket money' (which is kind of crazy, driving a cab is HARD work). anyway, he had traveled extensively in europe doing purchasing for the US government and had some definite opinions about green power and the next steps for american economic development. and we had a bit of a discussion about nixon causing all the problems. honestly, the more i think about it, it was a totally awesome conversation.

oh and a cat update! he did so well while i was out of town! i was pretty fucking worried about him getting too lonely or frantic by himself (he's very dog-like in his excitement when you come home) but he was fine. apparently he got a little nippy at my dad and sister when they where home in my apartment when i wasn't, but he can be like that if you try to pet him when he's not in the mood. maybe he just likes me best because i saved his ass and he got to be GRATEFUL, son! this weekend's separation was a good test for us both. he's fine for a few days by myself, and i learned that i most definitely consider new york city 'home'. intractably.

my roommate is moving back to kansas. i might have a room opening up in january. a friend might be moving in, but she isn't sure. however, if you are looking for a jan-april sublet and might be interested in a gorgeous place in east harlem, or know of someone who might be, let me know!

oh snap if this was an improv scene, john frusciante would have some notes for me! and no, i am not going to explain that.

oh my

i missed you new york. i started writing a couple of blogposts while i was home, but ended up deleting them out of being stupid. my dad keeps their house VERY cold and i sat in my down puffy jacket trying to watch house episodes and their damn satellite TV kept changing the channel and making me watch NCIS or the closer instead. i managed to not be a total brat while at home. i think that was helped somewhat because i wasn't able to sleep tuesday night, and stayed up for like 36 hours so i was pretty silly with my family.

so, in conclusion, i am very glad to be back in new york. my friends are pretty fantastic.

agog is a great fucking word.

i am still not feeling this post, but i am going to publish it anyways.

crankly

there is a 'crankly' brooklyn landlord recently highlighted by gawker as one of the few new york eccentrics left. i've transcribed the note he left about the use of trashcans in his building because it cracked me up.

YOU TENANTS BETTER STOP BEING SO STUPID AND RETARDED
WHEN I PUT GARBAGE CANS
OUT, I EXPECT YOU TO PUT
YOUR GARBAGE IN THOSE CANS AND
NOT ON TOP OF OTHER CANS AND COVERS

LAST WARNING

i wish he had kept up the crazy tone a little more for the whole thing. it starts off promising, and then kind of peters off and sounds almost normal at the end... until we find out that it is... THE LAST WARNING!





this almost makes me wish i didn't have the most hands-off super in the history of the world. also, crankly is an awesome word. like crinkly and cranky. i haven't decided whether i think the gawker did that on purpose or if the writer just thinks that is how 'cranky' is spelled. my aunt makes delicious cookies called chocolate crinkles and now i want some. damn you, crankly landlord! damn youuuu!!

you can read the whole run down of new york's current eccentrics here: http://gawker.com/photogallery/nyceccentricswphotos/

SUPRISE!

• today i woke up.
  
• then i hopped on the internet and posted on a messageboard. in the star trek discussion thread.
  
• then i went to a cafe and read a great novel that was written as if the wonders of space travel were accesible in the age of victorian england.
  
• after that, i walked to a bookstore and bought two young adult fantasy novels that were on sale, to keep the two i had in my bag already company.
  
• then i walked to forbidden planet, braving the BO of and lecherous stares of it's clientele, in order to purchase the next two volumes in stephen king's magnum opus of fantasy fiction series, the dark tower.
• feeling the need to bloster my base caffeine levels, i went to starbucks (again) and got into a discusion about said series with a barista.
  
• on my way home, i decided to blog about my day for all the internets to partake of.

i am a nerd of gargantuan proportions.

it was my birthday on friday!

as previously mentioned, i turned 24. it was pretty fucking fun. we went to burgers and cupcakes (the one in hell's kitchen, and only 3 people went to the wrong one!), which could have been a disaster, but was totally awesome. and my secret, not-so-fiendish-but-definitely-tricky plan worked! by going towards their closing time, we were literally covered with free cupcakes and brownies. it was pretty fun. and we took the place over, there were like... almost 20 people there, which is pretty nuts. oh, i feel so loved!

post burger-ifiying, we made a complicated trek down to the peter mcmanus pub, which was great fun, meeting up with several people who were waiting there for us, and generally rocking the funk out. pete, my college friend and member of the sketch group bobby peru, recognized a class of '97 alum (who was a co-founder of bobby peru) sitting near us, so we bothered him for awhile, and my friend bucket wanted to know why he recognized brian berrebi. i lol'd and told him. long, but very fun night, after a very long, VERY shitty week. i went home (carefully, see next post) and went to bed. i woke up at 3:30 on saturday and resolved not to leave the apartment. i think i just watched tv for like 10 hours. it was restorative.

so if you came out and hung out, thank you so much for coming, you guys are effing awesome. and if you didn't make it, can buy me a drink or a cool present (like, a starbucks giftcard, to throw an example out there) to make up for your absence!

hate of the week.

bonding with other people over similar hatred regarding mundane details of life in new york is lubricant that keeps the new york machine flowing. in this vein, i present to you, new york, my hate of the week.



THE RAREFIED REALM FROM WHICH BICYCLE RIDERS DERIVE THEIR SENSE OF MORAL SUPERIORITY!

last week, some jerkbag cyclist started yelling at me in midtown because he almost hit me as i was crossing the street. okay... here's the thing: I HAD THE LIGHT. i told him to go fuck himself cause he was running a redlight like a fucking cocksucker. cyclists are supposed to follow the same rules of the road as cars and trucks and motorcycles... cause they have wheels. that is one of a variety of reasons why chinese delivery guys shouldn't be biking down narrow sidewalks at night in the rain while going in the wrong direction and almost kill me, but i digress.

so... cyclists actually get mad enough mad at pedistrians crossing the street when they are supposed to be... because the cyclists are the ones disobeying their rules of the road. that shit makes me want to carry tacks and long, pointy sticks for throwing between wheel spokes. jerk bags. yeah, i am so SORRY for trying to cross while i have a walk sign in midtown, asshole! next time, i will just wait until all the bicycles and mopeds and vespas and segways finish weaving their way through a redlight and the first set of people crossing the street, and then through the westbound traffic that has the right of way, AND THEN i will wait for another cycle of lights, since that took 310948109834 minutes, and NEVER CROSS THE STREET EVER AND QUIT MY JOB AND DIE. how about that? shit-guzzling assbags.

about a month ago, some lady did this same thing to me near st. marks at like, 11 pm. i was just like 'are you seriously yelling at me because you are riding around in the dark on a silent machine while you are running a redlight? like, really? okay, thats cool, as long as we are clear that your imperious moral high ground is substantiated by absolutely nothing, you giant cockbag!'

actually, what i managed to say was, 'eehh FUCK YOU!' but that is what i thought of on my walk to the subway.

in conclusion: bicyclists can go fuck themselves.

awkward and hateful things!

Item the First.) the number of people i saw on the street during my lunch break that i should know well enough to say 'hey' casually to, and yet instead chose to ignore and avoid eye contact with so i wouldn't have to... say 'hey' to them?

Two. i am an anti-social jerkface.

Item the Second.) people who walk casually through midtown in the middle of the afternoon should be confined to wheelchairs and pumped full of barbituates, and then made to run on a treadmill for 4 hours. why? because that is what navigating through them feels like when you only have an hour for your lunch break and need to go to a sample sale AND grab an overpriced roast beef sandwich from arby's. 'zig-zag' is not an acceptable walking formation in this, the citiest of new york's urban centers. assholes.

Item the Third.) american eagle should burn for discontinuing the only pair of under 40 dollar jeans that fit my weird body. i tried on a different style last night that were fully one size bigger than what i normally wear and i couldn't even put my butt in them. a chunk of enough white fat to make captain ahab pant with lustful rage simply refused to even consider fitting itself inside that denim depth. it just squatted above what should have been the waistband, mocking me. hey, american eagle... here's this thing i was thinking about... don't make your size 6 jeans significantly smaller than your size 4 jeans. that is weird, and mean and doesn't make any sense.

Item the Last.) attention pimped out VW that ran a red light at 35-40 mph on 45th street this afternoon; honking your horn excessively to let everyone know you are dangerously breaking the law... doesn't actually change or improve the fact that you are doing something incredibly dangerous through a crowd of people, and also breaking the law.

so, in conclusion: honking =/= (does not equal) karma

beautiful day --> apocalypse --> beautiful day reprise

it was absolutely lovely outside this morning. it even smelled nice in midtown. seriously. the spring makes me very happy. it was beautiful when i went out for lunch as well, and only a bit too hot as i walked around bryant park. the beauty of bryant park couldn't even be marred by the smelly old dudes holding up the 'bush regime orchestrated 9/11' banner. at about 4, however, the sky got extremely dark... well, the 4 foot slice of reflected light i could see from the office window that is down the hall looked really dark and creepy. so apparently the world looked as if it was ending and i couldn't even see it.

i need a new job.