Wednesday, January 16, 2008

tom cruise is a nutball

and i hope no one is shocked. in case you haven't heard, an indoctrination video from an upper level of the scientological echelon was leaked onto the internet yesterday. tom cruise laughs maniacally, and talks nonsense for 10 minutes. i do that too, but i don't try to make anyone pay me to tell them more of it*. see gawker for the video, i guess it's still exclusive.

anyway, i was perusing a forum thread on the video, and someone posted this question:

This is just a jumble of bad metaphors. What questions could possibly lead to
answers like this.

well, mr. internet sir or madam, i just happen to have those questions right here:

1) why banana pant a cymbal! thousand finger clam bake. stew a fantastic awesome sauce? FOIL! FOIL!! FOIL!!!!

2) how can i get in tight with the heaviest power players in hollywood without changing my name to silversteinbergman?

it really is that simple. scientology is bat shit crazy, but it's also a tool for suave players in hollywood. and an insidious one. scientology bothers me more than other 'religions' because it's really just a cult. the methods they use are the same techniques used to break down personalities in the >insert cult here<>insert cult here< size="1">* well i guess that's not strictly true, but i don't ask that anyone believes the shite i spout onstage.


katie said...

Ever seen Magnolia? This video reminds me of the "respect the cock" character Cruise plays in it. Interesting . . .

Andrew said...

Yeah... but the man is gorgeous.

ruby sneakers said...

no thanks, i will take johnny depp plz.

billy said...

I considered changing my name to silversteinbergman, but taking up Scientology was just so much easier.

ruby sneakers said...

yeah, the legal process is such a hassle these days. i mean, how is the justice system supposed to remain relevant in today's culture of instantaneous results if it takes 3 weeks of standing various lines and submitting nigh-on endless paperwork just to change your name? i mean, i could change my user name in 30 seconds here. i have serious doubts about the relevance of the precedent system within the modern zeitgeist.