introspection is for SUCKAS

and i am a huge sucker. i realized today that it is my half-birthday. in 6 months' time, i will be 25. yikes. big number. quarter life crisis and all that. i don't feel like a particularly successful adult, in terms of adult things like bills and shit. i try to remind myself that i live in manhattan on my own, financially, and i am almost always actively pursuing my passion in life, but mostly that doesn't work and i get into an awkward one-person dialogue that i have to quiet by playing an unhealthy amound of ipod solitaire.

and writing overly complex sentences, stephen king would be so mad!

anyway, i am feeling somewhat introspective with 25 creeping up on me, plus i have an achy-cold (which i am pretty sure is technically influenza), plus i am trying my darndest to write an acting resume. i have weird issues with wanting to both be percieved as a competent performer and not wanting to be another actor doing stand up. also, i am fucking weird. i don't know, i have no illusions about how bad the resume is, i am just trying to push myself to get out there and do more. but i hate it so much! dragging my feet against my own better interests (i want to say 'angels', but this isn't west wing, and angels can suck it!) is so stupid, and yet something i do almost constantly.

i think this evening calls for some serious caramel macchiato and reading/writing action.

after i go to fedex/kinkos :\