fill-in-the-blank

1) i am a nerd because: ______________.

2) i am excited because: ______________.

3) i am apprehensive because: ____________.

4) i am procrastinating because: ____________.


1) i found out that the next artemis fowl book comes out 07/15 and i am REALLY excited for it. eoin colfer is great, even if he doesn't spend as much time on exposition as a length-and-detail-junky as i would want. also, garth nix's next book in the 'keys to the house' series comes out soon too. if i can find them cheap, both shall be bought and devoured shortly thereafter.

2) i get to leave work soon! and we have a pretty cool show tonight, you should come. 8 pm at the under st mark's theatre, st mark's btwn 1st and 2nd. and we are having a fun BBQ/partay at jill's awesome summer sublet tomorrow. i can't wait! yay summer!

3) i am apprensive because i am going to go try on some flip flops on for the first time since i first tried them on and threw them off in a fit of pain when i was 5 or 6. also, i am all weirded out today because i had a terrible dream where josh patten was a druggie who broke into my apartment and stole some of my stuff... but then i was watching a quentin tarantino zombie movie (in my DREAM, it was a scary movie... i don't even like scary movies, why would i make up a whole one in my dream?!) and then later i was sitting with some other improv types at a bar talking about how we were going to get josh help? what? anyway, it really freaked me out and i didn't get much rest as a result.

4) i dunno. it's a heretofore unchangeable personality trait of mine. i procrastinate about nearly everything. even about fucking retarded shit like going to the bathroom. i suck.

introspection is for SUCKAS

and i am a huge sucker. i realized today that it is my half-birthday. in 6 months' time, i will be 25. yikes. big number. quarter life crisis and all that. i don't feel like a particularly successful adult, in terms of adult things like bills and shit. i try to remind myself that i live in manhattan on my own, financially, and i am almost always actively pursuing my passion in life, but mostly that doesn't work and i get into an awkward one-person dialogue that i have to quiet by playing an unhealthy amound of ipod solitaire.

and writing overly complex sentences, stephen king would be so mad!

anyway, i am feeling somewhat introspective with 25 creeping up on me, plus i have an achy-cold (which i am pretty sure is technically influenza), plus i am trying my darndest to write an acting resume. i have weird issues with wanting to both be percieved as a competent performer and not wanting to be another actor doing stand up. also, i am fucking weird. i don't know, i have no illusions about how bad the resume is, i am just trying to push myself to get out there and do more. but i hate it so much! dragging my feet against my own better interests (i want to say 'angels', but this isn't west wing, and angels can suck it!) is so stupid, and yet something i do almost constantly.

i think this evening calls for some serious caramel macchiato and reading/writing action.

after i go to fedex/kinkos :\