introspection is for SUCKAS

and i am a huge sucker. i realized today that it is my half-birthday. in 6 months' time, i will be 25. yikes. big number. quarter life crisis and all that. i don't feel like a particularly successful adult, in terms of adult things like bills and shit. i try to remind myself that i live in manhattan on my own, financially, and i am almost always actively pursuing my passion in life, but mostly that doesn't work and i get into an awkward one-person dialogue that i have to quiet by playing an unhealthy amound of ipod solitaire.

and writing overly complex sentences, stephen king would be so mad!

anyway, i am feeling somewhat introspective with 25 creeping up on me, plus i have an achy-cold (which i am pretty sure is technically influenza), plus i am trying my darndest to write an acting resume. i have weird issues with wanting to both be percieved as a competent performer and not wanting to be another actor doing stand up. also, i am fucking weird. i don't know, i have no illusions about how bad the resume is, i am just trying to push myself to get out there and do more. but i hate it so much! dragging my feet against my own better interests (i want to say 'angels', but this isn't west wing, and angels can suck it!) is so stupid, and yet something i do almost constantly.

i think this evening calls for some serious caramel macchiato and reading/writing action.

after i go to fedex/kinkos :\

it was my birthday on friday!

as previously mentioned, i turned 24. it was pretty fucking fun. we went to burgers and cupcakes (the one in hell's kitchen, and only 3 people went to the wrong one!), which could have been a disaster, but was totally awesome. and my secret, not-so-fiendish-but-definitely-tricky plan worked! by going towards their closing time, we were literally covered with free cupcakes and brownies. it was pretty fun. and we took the place over, there were like... almost 20 people there, which is pretty nuts. oh, i feel so loved!

post burger-ifiying, we made a complicated trek down to the peter mcmanus pub, which was great fun, meeting up with several people who were waiting there for us, and generally rocking the funk out. pete, my college friend and member of the sketch group bobby peru, recognized a class of '97 alum (who was a co-founder of bobby peru) sitting near us, so we bothered him for awhile, and my friend bucket wanted to know why he recognized brian berrebi. i lol'd and told him. long, but very fun night, after a very long, VERY shitty week. i went home (carefully, see next post) and went to bed. i woke up at 3:30 on saturday and resolved not to leave the apartment. i think i just watched tv for like 10 hours. it was restorative.

so if you came out and hung out, thank you so much for coming, you guys are effing awesome. and if you didn't make it, can buy me a drink or a cool present (like, a starbucks giftcard, to throw an example out there) to make up for your absence!

i will soon be twenty-four years old

so i will ennumerate some things i should stop doing because 24 is 100% in adult territory.

1) i should stop putting off projects for several months, or, in some cases, years. i have had a bag of clothing that i intended to bring to a donation place last june or early july. awesome. since that bag of neglected, ill-fitting clothing was collected, i have decided to be a comedian, and started my own show and... well, that is it. but that is a long time to leave a plastic bag in your living room.

2) stop going to bed preposterously late. i don't mean those nights i am actually out until 4 am hanging out with people, because that is fun and i need to do that more, but just those nights that i know i need to be in bed by 10 because i have to be up at 5:45 in the morning, and i still end up getting in bed at midnight.

3) spending money like... i have money.

4) not getting a new job because the one i have is complete nonsense. see #3 as well.

5) do more stuff. reading in cafés while enjoying a lovely iced latte is amazing, but i probably don't need to update my myspace profile twice in a weekend, or get into unbelievably stupid arguments with people on messageboards. or see that episode of law and order CI where that guy who they originally thought was just a witness actually turns out to be the killer for the 10893rd time.

there is more, but it is mostly dumb. birthday plans are in the making, email me or leave a comment with your contact info if you are interested in hanging out wif us :) it will be totally dumb and silly, i am sure. i will refuse to drink anything but one wild turkey and coke, and will probably make fun of a tough-looking biker, or someone who was having a bad day already and then they will pout and cry. good times.