shit's gettin' real, mothafuckas.

hi blog. someone told me they thought my blog was funny last night, and since someone else told me about chris gethard's weekly series of stories he's been posting, i've been all bloggy this morning. i am working on some ideas for something more creative to put in this blog, not just alternating between long-winded exposition on my daily exploits and the occasional humorous aside when i am bothered to think of one.

i am now in the midst of the THIRD cold i have had since xmas. third. that is unacceptable. each one's been a different kind of cold too, which probably means they are all technically different diseases, but frankly i don't give a fuck. they all suck wicked hard. i haven't been incapacitated by any of them, and bad data's had a nice lull in performances so i am not trying to perform all dizzy or whacked out, but it's frustrating since i generally take care of myself. i don't smoke, i rarely drink, and if i do it's never to excess, and i generally sleep at least 6 hours a night, which is pretty good, for me. (i do not ever voluntarily go to bed early. ever. i loathe waking up, even when well-rested, so i guess i try to put it off as long as possible. or something else equally self-sabotaging.) anyway, i've been fucking good and my body repays me by feeling a low-grade shittiness most of the time? wtf? i just want it to be spring already. boooo. i've been saying 'boo' a lot lately. it's fun.

other things: i actually got asked to audition for the thing i was putting together an actor's resume for, so that was both quite surprising and pretty cool; i was being unacceptably negative abou the whole thing, but i couldn't help it. i fucking hated everything about what i submitted, but i did it anyway so i am proud of myself, i guess. and a little ashamed.
i tried to be fucking cool as shit at the audition, and mostly failed, but whatever. i think the audition was fine, and i didn't look as nervous as i felt, but i would have liked my effort to have been a credit to my abilities, and not just 'okay'. i would have loved to have nailed it, you know?

however, i loved seeing a bunch of great people and friends hanging out beforehand, even though most of us were equally nervous, it was really fucking great to let off steam and just bullshit around. none of us were being assholes or cutting anyone down or fucking with people so that they'd be more nervous. it was supportive and fun and hilarious. love. it.

unfortunately, i was nervous ALL day before it, and then i proceeded to like OD on adrenaline for the rest of the day after it. douglas adams has a great passage about adrenaline hanging around in your body and going sour, and i was repeating it in my head like a mantra. and an hour of improv rehearsal immediately following it was not enough to stop me freaking out. and our rehearsal was kind of tough. we could NOT stop making the same mistakes over and over again. i hate that.

in conclusion, i have a huge and unacceptably creepy crush on carter beauford, who is a genius. there are many reasons i will never denounce my love for the dave matthews band, but the #1 reason is probably the awe and satisfaction i derive from his motherfuckin polyrhythymic bad-assery.