Sunday, November 30, 2008

current improv thoughts

i am having a disconnect with what i know about improv 'off-stage' and watching shows and my skill level onstage. i can get so fucking frantic onstage. it makes me crazy. i know i am a stronger improvisor when i hold back (especially verbally) but i tend to talk when i am nervous or feeling insecure. i need to learn to be secure and confident onstage. and if i'm not, just to not step out. that's kind of the opposite note that is usually given. i think i skate by on being a somewhat compelling performer, but my techincals skills leave a lot to be desired. or just that i lose my technical abilities the moment i lose my thread of the show, so i just begin to stomp across the show and ruin whatever's been established. that is far more melodramatic than it needs to be, but sometimes i feel like that. i think i need to keep rehearsing and working on... pruning my instincts. and doing OTHER creative things. writing, CREATIVELY, not just recounting my days on the interwebs. i am going to start tracking my moods as well. i know comedy, and i fucking know how to do it... and sometimes i just fucking lose it on stage in improv.

castlemania! is awesome and i love those girls. we're going to keep doing shows and rehearsing together. i think we can only improve as a team. plus we are fucking adorable. plus, this was the second year i was in the 3 on 3 on a team with no harold or weekend team members, and for the second year my team made it to the semi-finals. and our show was pretty solid.

oh man. i am watching celebrity rehab (the best show ever) and rod stewart's son DOESN'T KNOW WHO BUDDY HOLLY IS. HOW ARE YOU THAT STUPID!? i mean, sure, rod stewart's scottish, but he still came straight from the american rock school... via the london blues movement BUT STILL. holy fuck, how do you avoid knowing about BUDDY HOLLY. i mean. what. founder and populizer (?) of rock and roll. gah.

sorry that made me mad.

i took two cabs this weekend because my dad wanted to see the intrepid aircraft carrier, which is off 12th avenue and he has a really hard time walking. so that made it hard to get around anywhere. 12th avenue is far fucking away you guys. i kind of wish i could take cabs more often, one of the guys was really cool. he was retired and drove a cab on the weekends for 'pocket money' (which is kind of crazy, driving a cab is HARD work). anyway, he had traveled extensively in europe doing purchasing for the US government and had some definite opinions about green power and the next steps for american economic development. and we had a bit of a discussion about nixon causing all the problems. honestly, the more i think about it, it was a totally awesome conversation.

oh and a cat update! he did so well while i was out of town! i was pretty fucking worried about him getting too lonely or frantic by himself (he's very dog-like in his excitement when you come home) but he was fine. apparently he got a little nippy at my dad and sister when they where home in my apartment when i wasn't, but he can be like that if you try to pet him when he's not in the mood. maybe he just likes me best because i saved his ass and he got to be GRATEFUL, son! this weekend's separation was a good test for us both. he's fine for a few days by myself, and i learned that i most definitely consider new york city 'home'. intractably.

my roommate is moving back to kansas. i might have a room opening up in january. a friend might be moving in, but she isn't sure. however, if you are looking for a jan-april sublet and might be interested in a gorgeous place in east harlem, or know of someone who might be, let me know!

oh snap if this was an improv scene, john frusciante would have some notes for me! and no, i am not going to explain that.

oh my

i missed you new york. i started writing a couple of blogposts while i was home, but ended up deleting them out of being stupid. my dad keeps their house VERY cold and i sat in my down puffy jacket trying to watch house episodes and their damn satellite TV kept changing the channel and making me watch NCIS or the closer instead. i managed to not be a total brat while at home. i think that was helped somewhat because i wasn't able to sleep tuesday night, and stayed up for like 36 hours so i was pretty silly with my family.

so, in conclusion, i am very glad to be back in new york. my friends are pretty fantastic.

agog is a great fucking word.

i am still not feeling this post, but i am going to publish it anyways.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

stuff from all over (my brain)

cleaning is awesome. well not really, but afterwards, it is awesome.

my starbucks totally fucked my drink up today, but the cashier told me 'i like you. you're smart. i can tell you're real smart and i like that.' so i said back to her that i thought she was also the smartest since she always knows my drink and says it when i am like 2 people back in line automatically. in conclusion, now i won't go complain and try to get a free drink out of the deal. to be fair, i probably wouldn't do that even if she hadn't picked today to compliment me.

damn. most of my blogging seems to relate to starbucks. gerrrah. i am pathetic.

um, my apartment is almost clean and cat ready for marower (? i don't know) to spend 3 days alone. i need to get one of those water dispenser things. he finally learned about water dishes in the last month or so, i hope a new gurgling model won't freak him out too much. but fuck him anyway, asshole kept biting my toes last night. WHAT A DICK. good thing he's fucking adorable and also mostly sweet and friendly.

i finished 'dragon haven' yesterday and mostly liked it, except that it was a little too 'journaly' and 'make up words-y' for me to really get into it. i really like robin mckinley a lot, obviously, but i did think this last attempt at writing a modern young adult perspective fell a little flat. i also had an improv-type note for her: "DO THE STUFF! DON'T TALK ABOUT THE STUFF! KEEP THE ACTION PRESENT". it was told in a journal style, which she definitely prefers after 'sunshine', but at least much of sunshine happened in the present. basically, i wanted the action to be happening 'now', as opposed to being told about it. which is insane, because it's a damn novel and i can only be told about the action. um. but i wanted to be told about in the present, 'as it was happening', and not from a 'oh man, you want to know what happened next? i know what happened next and whoo-weee was it crazy!' perspective. um. but i still liked it. i place it above deerskin but below robin hood. which is actually not that great, since i kind of hated deerskin but whatever, it was better than that. 'chalice', which just came out, looks like it's set all old-timey, so that's awesome.

i still need to pack. going to try to do that tonight, because if i don't it means i will be doing it at 4 am on wednesday morning.

also, this story.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

quit it, tongue

i have a canker sore on the tip of my tongue. it's a little swollen and definitely sore. i am just pissed it hasn't gone away yet.

good weekend. i need to finish cleaning and packing for thanksgiving still.

Friday, November 21, 2008

this is going to be a braggy post


this was a pretty fucking awesome improv week for me. first, on tuesday, robin williams showed up and sat in with bangs for their harold, which was one of those transcendent, amazing, unbelievably cool new york - comedy moments. i think most of the theatre bonded over how excited we were to be there and seeing that. and seeing bangs come together like a harold machine and perform an incredibly committed, super fun and really professional show made me so proud of all of them. it was a fucking blast to watch. this sounds really pathetic, but the experience really did renew a lot of my excitement and joy about improv. the line between caring too much and being too jaded and no longer being invested is a tough one too navigate, and this helped, in no small part. and besides, who among the current generations of young comedians wasn't totally OBSESSED with robin williams from the age of 7 to 14? at least? it's huge and humbling just for that reason alone.

then i hosted a segment of harold night for the first time ever (it didn't really go over, but we didn't bail on the bit so i don't feel too bad about it) and my 600 class had our second show; and we had a pretty decent audience too. some people in a 101 stayed for it, which is SO cool. i think kate spencer told them they should see us, which was totally awesome. my team went second, which i actually prefer. i often get overly nervous going first in any 2 halves, class show setting, and those nerves turn into weirdly frenetic energy onstage. and despite starting our show at like 11:35 PM on a weeknight, it was a REALLY fun show! the slight changes we made to the form really helped kick start our brains back into playing game, and our team was so fucking fun and supportive. we like couldn't stop laughing while we were warming up.

there was definitely stuff we could have done better, but every time we got a little crazy or outta control, we brought it back under control and calmed down and moved forward. i had a great time. and for the first time in a while, i had a 'fuzzy brain' moment; what i call when i feel super focused on finding that right, next supportive move and it was awesome. i've had them before (my last 401 class show and the dr. seuss / edgar allan poe bad data show), but not in awhile.

for me, even if there was a lot that could be improved in a show, if i get a great fuzzy brain move in, i feel like i've just nailed it. and it's an awesome feeling. and to feel like i nailed it, performing on the same stage on the same night as mrs. doubtfire? well, that's just double brag points, now isn't it? i am looking forward to continuing to really get the form as shannon sees it in our next two shows, and i highly encourage you all to come see us try!

my final awesome improv thing of week is that my 3 person team, castlemania!, made it through the quarter finals of the 3 on 3 tournament last night! we squeaked by on the say-so of a SINGLE vote, which is unequivocally awesome. we made it! we had a pretty solid show, i think. the sets during the first round of the tournament are only SEVEN minutes long, which is really quick. but it was fun, definitely. my dad and sister are going to get to see me do long form improv at the UCB theatre! that is so cool. and my team is... awesome. and i know for a fact that the more we play together the awesomer we are going to be. like, for reals. i think we will be profoundly good. castlemania! fuck yes!

and we came out to the jurassic park theme music. john williams ftw.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008

middle names

i don't have one. my parents decided not to 'burden' my sisters and i with middle names, because we had hyphenated last names. their logic, to me, seems totally weird, because middle names are basically your optional 2nd identity names; you rarely have to use them for legal purposes, but i always have to leave the last 4 or 5 letters off my last name. at my last three jobs i've defaulted to using only one of my last names, twice because the IT people decided what my email address, and therefore professional last name, should be without asking me. the other time, IT used my WHOLE name for my email address, including the hyphen, and i didn't want to deal with saying 22 letters and symbols every time i gave my email out to a hotel or coworker so i asked them to leave it at 'healy'. which is still spelled wrong 7 out of every 10 times i give it out. so, thanks, parents, that whole 'two last names instead of a middle name' made a whole lot of sense.

i am getting distracted though. basically, i always wished i had either a cool name or an even cooler middle name. growing up, my best friend's name was audra. aka, the coolest name ever. in second grade, i wanted my middle name to be ariel (sigh). i even told a subsitute teacher that was my middle name (i had issues). recently, i have toyed with the idea of just giving myself a middle name, and going by that instead. i feel sort of weird about that, probably stemming from memories of trying to give myself the nickname... ugh... crane in 3rd or 4th grade. attention, parents: when your imaginative child has no friends and plays pretend with magic horses and tries to name herself crane... um, get her some friends. or make her go to summer camp. and NOT theatre summer camp, that doesn't count. sheesh. anyway, here is a list of names i've been considering, and you can all see for yourselves the profound lack of maturing and progress i have made since 4th grade.

reid (or reade)

my mom has recently expressed regret for not giving my sisters and i middle names. i feel bad about that. i mean her middle name is 'anne', no wonder she thought no one wanted middle names. my dad has no excuse though, he GOES by his middle name for business.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


you should head on down to the UCB theatre tonight at 11 and check out the first show for "In A World", starring a whole slew of very talented improvisors, and directed by shannon o'neill. the show is free if you attend any part of harold night OR are an improv student, and a mere $5 otherwise.

i would love to see you there!


Thursday, November 6, 2008

a few words from the first republican president

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew.

my previous post

in no way reduces how much i am in love with chris kelly.


the euphoric, low-grade positivity of yesterday has been tempered for me by the confirmed news of prop 8 passing in california, and similar bills passing all over our (still) great republic. i am frustrated by this profoundly. i am still hopeful that we are in the midst of the last gasps from the rapidly aging voices of the nation who seem so offended by love if it's done by anything besides peeners entering 'ginas.

i have the mouth of a long shoreman (thanks, mom) and i do enjoy shocking people, but sexuality is not something i tend to be very comfortable talking about in relation to myself. however i feel must say this because i do identify as a non-traditional sexuality. although 'identify' is a strong word there, as i usually go out of my way to avoid talking about personal preferences except in the most broad or historical of terms. however, i am making myself 'come out of the closet', so to speak, because i think our reaction to the outcome of this recent election cycle hullabaloo about the legal legitimacy of LGBT relationships is just that important: i tend to consider myself asexual. i am not really interested in sex, certainly not in they way most other people are. i am not opposed to it, but it's not for me. kind of like spicy brown mustard. some people love that shit, i would not eat it on a sandwich, even if it was a free office-catering sandwich. 'no thanks, turkey on white with an unfortunate layer of brown spicy mustard (coitus),' i say, 'i'll pass! i think i'll have one of these half-smushed cookies and some caeser dressing on a plate instead!'

i don't know if i will always feel this way, any more than i know if i will always be an atheist, but similarly, i don't plan on 'converting'. i am also, personally, not opposed to the idea of being in a relationship, and i certainly get crushes, but many asexuals are totally not into either of those things at all. has some cool information if you are interested in reading more.

i have a hard time placing myself in the realm of LGBT issues, although most groups who think teh gays are the spawn and tools of satan would i am just as much of a freak / broken / atheist / devil-follower as the rest of the Queer population. at least i'm not having pre-marital sex like those hypocrites.

i know i am not depressed, and i don't have a hormone disorder that is preventing me from wanting to constantly fuck. i am just not interested; similar to my lack of interest in national football or comic books. if someone wants to talk about those subjects, i will listen politely because i like talking to people, but i don't want to engage in the pastime myself. i don't really concern myself with 'why'. why are you straight? why are you gay? i think it doesn't really matter, let's just get down to the business of living. or if you are like most people (who are not me), the business of fucking.

in conclusion, i am profoundly disappointed in the results of the measure set in motion to constitutionally BAN marriage out side of one narrow, hetero definition. i've felt passionately about LGBT as long as i can remember... since well before i saw the real world san francisco, definitely. at a profound level, i don't understand people who hate change and difference THAT much. the shape of the information doesn't seem to match with how information needs to be packaged in my brain; like trying to combine those giant fake legos with real ones.

but i am going to try to understand, so i can respond to that sector in a way they can understand, because i am smarter than ignorance. i am going to try to find a place for myself in the LGBT(... A?) movement. anyone who believes in justice and the legitimacy of LGBT rights, regardless of their personal sexuality, should find a place for themselves in the movement as well. the passing (by a narrow margin) of proposistion 8 is not the end of this fight. it's the 4th round bell, and one that indicates that we need to get into this next round even more passionately and with renewed strength.

come one, cum all (some none); let's show these aging bigots that we won't stand for their moralistic attempts at legislating our ability to sanctify our unions in this fair union! but first, i am heading to the lobby to see if they are any non-mustard office-catering sandwiches i can steal. nom nom nom!

also, the next person who 'jokingly' calls me a lesbian is getting a kick, swiftly and possibly metaphorically, right into the groin area. and not because there is any thing i find offensive in the idea or potentiality of being a lesbian, but because their intention behind the label is displaced from the fact that i won't let them get their dicks wet in any of my potential orifices. fuck. you. i am not even a little kidding.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008



please remember to vote today. i hope you did it before work, because that is clearly the best time to. i mean, you get to be late and blame it on the federal government! reason enough to vote, methinks.

now, if you are checking my blog on your iphone or G1 enabled android phone while waiting in line at your polling place, you gotta put that shit away because i am making you electioneer!

Monday, November 3, 2008


i think i am too drained to properly do nanowrimo this year. that is totally a cop out and i have no excuse except that i feel creatively drained. i think i am going to instead challenge myself to write a whole 15 minute stand up act every day throughout november. i know i can do it, i've done it before. i am going to try to get up at some shows i haven't reached out to in a while either. i haven't decided whether i will put any of it up here. i'm always kind of torn about putting crafted material up online. it's a stupid fear, probably, and half the time i just don't think of it. and crafting a joke in 'print' takes slightly more effort than just dumping reguritiations of my feelings and excessive vitriol from my current life into blog form.

hmm... i've gotten to a place mentally where i feel like i need negativity to define me. that's profoundly unhealthy. i'm going to work on being a lot more positive.

thanks, reflective moments on the internet! thanks!

um, life (aka improv) update:
my 3 person team, castlemania! was randomly selected to be in the 3 on 3 cagematch tournament this year! right now we are scheduled on 11/20, right after powerhouse team derrick. it would mean a lot to the three of us (myself, nicole drespel and bridget fitzgerald) if you were to come that thursday at 11 and vote for us to advance to the semi-finals. also my current class, In a World... starts its run on 11/11 at 11 pm. you should come see the shows, they will be entertaining and worth your time investment.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


more of my nerdy improv friends need to watch house. it is a decent show em effers.

fortunately there is little to no photographic evidence of my escapades as dr. gregory house, because i'd working crew for killgore for basically a week straight and i looked like shit and possibly smelled as well. AND i managed to lose my whole damn make up bag at somepoint in the evening so i couldn't even give myself a 5 o'clock shadow.

in conclusion: there is basically nothing funnier than jim santangeli throwing a stack of dominoes pizza boxes in the air an shouting 'DUSTY!'.

now i am about to get ready to go out for a second evening of halloween fun, this time as legolas greenleaf, even though i said i'd stop being legolas all the time.

p.s. rebuying all my make up is going to SUCK. fuck.
OH SHIT. next year i am being the fifth element for halloween. badass. maybe i will even learn the divine language!