oh i forgot to tell you

fit flops were a massive failure. there is something wrong with my feet, i think, because i literally become FULL of pain when i tried to walk in them. the pressure of keeping them on my feet, when concentrated entirely in the area between my big toe and my second toe was 100% more than i can deal with. i think that makes me sound like a huge pussy, which i am not. i have a pretty high tolerance for pain, although i am not a pleasant person when i am in pain, i can fucking deal with it. i've had 6+ major operations, and have had a plethora of lesser medical procedures. in other words, i am a total bad ass. but my feet are retarded. oh well. i returned them. the teva sandals i got earlier in the summer have no support, but i can deal with wearing them a few times a week i guess. they are comfortable enough.

in the end, i do recommend fit flops if you are able to wear thong sandals. they are both incredibly comfortable for the bottom of your feet, but they also really work your leg muscles. i felt it in my thighs especially.

i am still up. partly because my roommate got in the shower before me, but mostly because my heart is beating all hard and fast and generally weird and i am now convinced that i have another heart arrythmia. the last time i had one was when i was last very sick, and well... it's scary to think i might not be as healthy as i feel. i am going to get a check up and start acting like an adult.

i think i need to start being more upfront about myself. i don't think i am misrepresenting who i am... but i am certainly omitting information... and assuming others will interpret my 'pauses'. and i am afraid i am being like those people who take information and interest from others like parasites without giving up my own honest self up in exchange. and i hate those people. i find it so offensive. and i think i am doing it. looks like i have to start being much braver.

in conclusion, i hate hulk hogan. and i can now not listen to the beastie boys without playing the beastie boys warm up in my head.

telegram for east harlem:

mesh shirts are never a good idea. i can see your hairy man nipples. and i don't wish to.

moving

is terrible. i am just moving at work, not out of my sweet east harlem palace, but it's still terrible. they were on my ass all day yesterday to get moved out for this morning. SO 10:20 comes around today, and i am all moved out, except for one folder and my computer (because my brief stint in corporate america has taught me that you hold on to the internet until the last possible second). everything else is balanced precariously on a shelf next to my soon-to-be (shudder) cubicle, or in a cart next to said cubicle. BUT, not as you might think, IN this particular cubicle. no. because there are 3 people ahead of me who were supposed to move out of their cubicles into different cubicles by this morning, and who have NOT because they are awful. so i persist in being stuck in this limbo between my gorgeous office overlooking 57th street, with a decent view of the sky and interesting windows to spy on people through, and a shitty cubicle with no sound privacy right next to a damn fax machine AND 3 printers. grumblecakes.

also, my speakers are packed up so i can't even listen to music while fucking around on the internet.

if you came out to my show, the lorelei, on sunday, thanks so much! it was a really fun time, and totally packed, which is always awesome. i ended up writing some stand up jokes at like 6:30 that night, to perform that night, since my original hosting bit fell through. i think most of the material went over pretty well. email me if you have any specific thoughts on ma jokes.

the three improv teams were great too! i kind of wish i hadn't gotten a second whiskey and coke, since i was totally too tipsy by the end of the night. good thing i wasn't also responsible for blacking out any of the shows. i can tell that it would have been 'a halfway through a non-game move incidental sentence' black out, i think... had there been one. er. TIME BANDIT, AWAY!

fill-in-the-blank

1) i am a nerd because: ______________.

2) i am excited because: ______________.

3) i am apprehensive because: ____________.

4) i am procrastinating because: ____________.


1) i found out that the next artemis fowl book comes out 07/15 and i am REALLY excited for it. eoin colfer is great, even if he doesn't spend as much time on exposition as a length-and-detail-junky as i would want. also, garth nix's next book in the 'keys to the house' series comes out soon too. if i can find them cheap, both shall be bought and devoured shortly thereafter.

2) i get to leave work soon! and we have a pretty cool show tonight, you should come. 8 pm at the under st mark's theatre, st mark's btwn 1st and 2nd. and we are having a fun BBQ/partay at jill's awesome summer sublet tomorrow. i can't wait! yay summer!

3) i am apprensive because i am going to go try on some flip flops on for the first time since i first tried them on and threw them off in a fit of pain when i was 5 or 6. also, i am all weirded out today because i had a terrible dream where josh patten was a druggie who broke into my apartment and stole some of my stuff... but then i was watching a quentin tarantino zombie movie (in my DREAM, it was a scary movie... i don't even like scary movies, why would i make up a whole one in my dream?!) and then later i was sitting with some other improv types at a bar talking about how we were going to get josh help? what? anyway, it really freaked me out and i didn't get much rest as a result.

4) i dunno. it's a heretofore unchangeable personality trait of mine. i procrastinate about nearly everything. even about fucking retarded shit like going to the bathroom. i suck.

things i enjoy

telephone forms online that automatically tab from one section to the next and don't just stubbornly keep you in that first 3 number box for 30 seconds until you realize that you haven't actually entered anything new in that time.

new york. it's pretty awesome to live here you guys. i used to think i would hate living in a city, new york especially, but i was totally wrong. new york is awesome, even when it's not. come visit if you want!

iced caramel macchiatos from starbucks. no explanation necessary, except maybe to my bank account, amirite guys? eh?

comedy. the point of it is to examine the world, be offended/delighted/horrified by a part of it, and then tell a bunch of people about it in the most effective and creative way possible. it is AWESOME.*

wall*e! it was really good, i highly recommend seeing it. i was oddly distracted by the audience when i saw it, so i might just go again. but it was very sweet, and hits on every emotion. really dark and compelling too.

little baby puppies.

talking to people.

terry pratchett and douglas adams. and david gray. and the national. and calculators. and havarti cheese!

that's it. that's everything i like.





*carlos mencia is not comedy you guys.

new format

i totally revamped the look of this place. i really like it. let me know what you think, as long as what you think is 'omg i love it! looks so cute!' i don't want to hear your negative bullshit, motha uckas!

i am off to new team harold, to not watch my teammate and good friend in it, because she has to 'work'. boo, work, boo!

obviously i am staying for harold night. OBVIOUSLY.

crankly

there is a 'crankly' brooklyn landlord recently highlighted by gawker as one of the few new york eccentrics left. i've transcribed the note he left about the use of trashcans in his building because it cracked me up.

YOU TENANTS BETTER STOP BEING SO STUPID AND RETARDED
WHEN I PUT GARBAGE CANS
OUT, I EXPECT YOU TO PUT
YOUR GARBAGE IN THOSE CANS AND
NOT ON TOP OF OTHER CANS AND COVERS

LAST WARNING

i wish he had kept up the crazy tone a little more for the whole thing. it starts off promising, and then kind of peters off and sounds almost normal at the end... until we find out that it is... THE LAST WARNING!





this almost makes me wish i didn't have the most hands-off super in the history of the world. also, crankly is an awesome word. like crinkly and cranky. i haven't decided whether i think the gawker did that on purpose or if the writer just thinks that is how 'cranky' is spelled. my aunt makes delicious cookies called chocolate crinkles and now i want some. damn you, crankly landlord! damn youuuu!!

you can read the whole run down of new york's current eccentrics here: http://gawker.com/photogallery/nyceccentricswphotos/