whenever you email to complain about not receiving an item

an item that was supposedly shipped on 12/30, and it's now 1/21 and you suspect you will never ever get your fancy headphones back from the warranty returns... you will go home to see that they have arrived, and you will feel like an asshole.  but also you will suspect that there is a schroedinger's law of packages, which states that all packages shipped by USPS exist in an indeterminate, undeliverable state that is only resolved when someone sends a bitchy email about it, and the package either appears spontaneously in your mailbox, or lonely and alone, way behind the steps of the main delivery bay of the tennessee / east coast mail hub, never to be grasped by human hands again.

AND THEN YOU WILL BLOG ABOUT IT.