allergies suck

my immune system seems to be rebelling on behalf of my 'secret' anxiety to never leave my home or comfort zone. i had some allergy symptoms while in maine, which is kind of ridiculous, because it's fucking the middle of winter and there can't be that much difference in the indoor allergens in my grandparent's house and a rental home and the allergens in my big, east harlem, not all that clean, OLD townhouse in new york. not to mention a disgusting, definitely mildewy basement in chelsea. and now i am in new jersey, and it's the same damn thing. my eyes are itchy as hell, and i've taken benadryl, which i hope explains my near-catatonic stupor right now. sure, it's 3:30 in the morning, but that is barely late for me. i've had the equivalent of like one drink. this is miserable.

i can't tell if it is getting colder in here, or if i just am not moving enough to generate a base level of reasonable body temperature.

also someone took my ipod off, which i fucking HATE. oh SHIT you gotta be KIDDING me, nick drake is on THIS playlist and it's fine, but on MY playlist, it's like the WORST music you've ever heard? suck my cock. fuck. that.

party was pretty fun last night. i had too much champagne and cookies. i was also 'informed' by someone: "you are very pretty and you seem nice, but you are [such a mean person], you'd be so great (drunken incoherence) [why do you have to make my dick sad because if you were a nice, good girl i would want to get my dick wet in your holes]. to which i reply: because i fucking want to. i will be 'me' on my terms, all the time. also, if you think saying things like that is 'charmingly frank' and not 'totally fucking rude', i will continue to verbally eviscerate you at every SLIGHTEST provacation. that is a general, all-inclusive 'you'.

i think my hip is arthritic. that's overdramatic, but it hurts like hell and has for like 4 days.

happy new year, internet.